I categorized this under “family first” to remind myself of the things that matter. With another death looming, I notice myself dancing in avoidant patterns around difficult encounters. I get busy, I put out fires for people I hate, I get obsessed with AI, I stay up to date on Trump’s latest record-breaking dumb tantrum, and I stay numb. When I pause for a second, I shed a tear or two, wipe it off and get back to my circus. I know why some people don’t fall in love or visit. Losing is too damn hard.